I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You took a bar mat shot.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
