And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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