just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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