Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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