i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
