im drinking this country out of the recession.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
