i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
