Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
