I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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