i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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