Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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