You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
