Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
