erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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