Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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