im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
do herpes really smell.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
