talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Randomize
