My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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