My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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