the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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