We're like a lot better than the average bears
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
