wakey wakey hands off snakey
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
