Michael Bay diarrhea
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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