dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
whose parrot is this?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
