i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
