You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
