Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
