she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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