Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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