If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
