You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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