What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
