Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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