3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
