heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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