R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
