I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
