My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Randomize
