The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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