Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
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