how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
What happened to fro yo and sex?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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