you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
