so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
