I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
