we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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