Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
