that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
