I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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