it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
