it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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